The moment we’ve all been waiting for is finally here. Ryan and I are sitting here holding our beautiful little girl in our arms. It’s so incredible to gaze upon the miracle that God so graciously blessed us with. When the psalmist wrote the words from the mouth of God that “I knit you together in your mother’s womb and created your inmost being,” I think I am finally beginning to understand the love that He has for us. For the creator of the universe and the God of us all to take the time out of His busy schedule to knit each and every one of us together, not making a single one of us the same, I think that right there shows the greatness and love that He possesses for us.
When I first became pregnant, I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown. Sort of because of the situation that I was in with being pregnant and having to move far away, but mostly because I was terrified that I wasn’t going to even be a good mother. I was staring at myself in the mirror while Ryan was at work and thinking to myself, “What if I do it wrong?” “What if I’m not good enough?” Doubt and self-worth is also one of my big struggles in life and has been since I was a child. As I was crying and looking into that mirror, I closed my eyes and all I could see was a little girl, about 6 years old with long brown hair. I was standing in front of her and she had my face in her hands as she was standing on a stool. She said, “Don’t cry mommy, I love you and I always will.” I then began telling God that I didn’t know if I could do this and I was really scared. I felt like He was telling me, “You don’t believe in my love for you, and you won’t fully understand it until the day that she wraps her finger around yours.” At that point I was telling Him, “Of course I love you, I know that you love me too.” But now that it’s actually happened, and my beautiful baby girl is here, I can see how much He really does love me through her beautiful almond shaped eyes.
As I was lying in bed one morning last summer, a verse that many of you might have heard popped into my mind. Jeremiah 17:8 “He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when the heat comes for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” God was showing me that this child that He was giving me is going to go through struggles in life, as we all do, but that the faith that God would instill in her would not falter when those struggles come. She will be raised up as a mighty warrior in His kingdom and will do many great things. She is a true princess in the Kingdom of God.
Now, for the name. Drum roll please. Her first name, which came to me one warm night here in New Mexico, Azaria. In the book of Daniel there is the very familiar story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Now, these were their Babylonian names, but their Hebrew names were much different. Abednego’s name was Azariah, meaning Yahweh helps. I chose the name Azariah thinking the whole time she was going to be a boy just because of the fact that Azariah was a male in the Bible. However, once we found out she was going to be a girl, I still felt the strong urge to name her Azariah (Yahweh helps). After working on Ryan for a while, he finally warmed up to the idea, with the slight modification of taking out the “h” at the end to make it look more feminine.
Her middle name, Lynn popped into Ryan’s mind a few months ago. We looked up the meaning and it clearly stated, those who stand by the torrent (rushing stream). I thought, how perfect! If her life verse is going to be Jeremiah 17:8 standing firm by the river, and her first and middle name put together means Yahweh helps he who stands by the torrent, they fit perfectly.
These names and meaning show me that our little girl is going to be strong and courageous in the Lord’s army. I know she is marked with a special purpose, and all I can do is pray that Ryan and I can raise her to reach that full potential in Christ.
Azaria Lynn Noack born March 10 6:17pm, 5lbs 14.5oz, 19 inches