He Brings Healing to our Soul

When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I’m standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear
You amaze me
Redeem me
You call me as Your own
You’re my strength
You’re my defender
You’re my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You’ve always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul


These were the lyrics of the first song that I intentionally listened to on Pandora this morning.  The song “I am Not Alone” by Kari Jobe seemed to draw my attention as she sung about exactly the struggles my family and I seem to be going through at this moment.  


I just think it’s so crazy to think about how God is so impeccable in His timing that He constantly puts people, circumstances, words of encouragement, and even simple little songs in our path at exactly the right moment in time.  Just as if He were saying, “Hey, I’m here for you, I know what you are going through, and I’ve got your back.”  


Kari sings in her bridge, 


“You’re my strength
You’re my defender
You’re my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You’ve always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul”


It’s funny because she says, “You will bring healing to my soul”. God is and has continually overcome my physical issues at the current time, but even more than that, He is calling my soul and spirit to a higher calling.  He has bigger plans for me than just my physical well-being.  He wants to get down to the eye of the storm, which is my salvation and my spiritual health.  Like I said in my last post, I feel like He allowed this to happen to me to draw me closer to Him.  It’s so evident to me because of all the things that have been aligned with the circumstances that envelop my life right now.  The doctors faith filled words, the songs that have been coming on Pandora, the verses I’ve been reading, and the messages I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to share with the nurses here.  Even the words of encouragement and prayer you all have been leaving on my Facebook wall.  He is there in every moment to put us back together again.


Ok, so story time.  Last night they started me on a new IV medication called Rituxan.  It’s a very strong medication they use for cancer patients a lot.  It’s supposed to target my B cells that are creating antibodies which are destroying my factor 8 blood clotting mechanism.  This med has side effects that a lot of people exhibit when they take it, so for precautionary measures, the nurses start it out super slow, then gradually increase the speed as they observe you.  Last night they started me out slow, and I took it well, so my nurse increased it and was going to come back in 30 minutes to see how I was doing.  In that 30 minutes, my chest got super heavy, my heart rate spiked really high, I began shaking and chattering my teeth really violently, and my hips cramped up.  So the nurse called the doctor and went to grab the medicine I needed to stop the side effects.  During this time it was getting harder and harder to breath, and it was taking some time for them to get the medicine for me.  So I began to pray, declaring peace over my body, refusing Satin’s attack over me, and calling upon the Spirit of peace and healing.  As I started praying my chattering gradually decreased and my breathing was becoming easier.  Then I rolled to my iPad and turned on my audio bible and started listening to the Psalms.  It was amazing to see the symptoms subside and eventually decease all together with just the words of The Lord.  This shows me just how powerful his spoken healing words are.  It really got me thinking about the desires He has for our life.  How much He tells us over and over again that He desires an intimate and deep relationship with us.  If we just take the focus off ourselves or our problems and place it on the problem solver instead, He will drive away any fear or pain that we may have.  He desires to bring us complete healing and restoration, for not just the temporary, but for the eternal as well.  

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